Loss is really a state of scenario where we don’t just lose someone or something, we lose a part of ourselves at the event and resulting process; the individuality goes through deconstruction, Critter control, and that overhaul, for the lucky ones, is the genesis of reformation.
Among the larger shortages we find with the sheer stress of it all, are the psychological shifts that leave us bereft for an explanation.
It is because inside the brain – the conscious mind – there are like seven rooms, with distance, for thought, for cognition, for creativity, for attribution, for communication, for difficulty. The unconscious mind escapes in sleep and carries us off into a fantasy the reverse of nightmares, and that’s why we cannot confront the first waking moment in grief – when we could wish for anything but consciousness. However, it’s the conscious mind that we are interested in, for the conditions of memory.
If there are seven rooms, the notional complete picture of a conscious mind able to perform all the tasks we expect it to, some of those rooms are completely occupied from the stress implicit of despair. Some of them are partially full with a convoluted, confused mixture of advice designed to confound us readily. (These are the very same conditions someone with sleep deprivation encounters.) But all rooms are somewhat affected, and there is less mental efficiency and output overall.
A large portion of the problem for those who grieve who are elderly is the distress within the notion that’s Alzheimer’s disease – the commonest dementia. Sharp and cavernous despair can mimic dementia, at least to persons unqualified to assess it, who fear such a ‘could-it-be’ diagnosis. And we know that there is early onset dementia, so the fact that we can develop it at any age means anybody experiencing the memory deficits outbound of reduction can feel threatened – which further exacerbates stress, adding stress to the already crowded lodging facility in our mind. Small wonder we could feel confounded.
It’s good to know there is a reason loss impacts memory during grief, since it explains it that significant stress inhibits the mind. Acknowledging stress helps us understand we best go gently, not expecting too much, even anticipating the mental, emotional and spiritual limits we face. Thankfully grief doesn’t limit memory permanently.